Who I Don't Trust:

1) Adults With Braces
Really, what kind of adult agrees to that level of prepubescent absurdity? I'll tell you who: the type that are making a (pathetic) last-ditch effort to regain lost youth. The irony is that the type of youth they are going for is the sexless, viceless sort that sit around and fantasize about straight As. And just as quickly as that sort of pooheaded child will call you out in class for cheating, this type of pooheaded adult will tell everyone at work your business. And rest assured, she will tell it wide-eyed and lisping loudly, while spraying spittle on anyone who bothers to listen.

2) New Agers
They pose as aging hippies, but talk to these people and you'll see they're little more than white collar pricks. They listen to Enya and burn candles, then become Buddhists, which never lasts more than 15 minutes, and the next thing you know, they're all Born Again Christians fucking over everyone and everything that isn't wealthy, white and making (wealthy, white) babies.

3) Lesbians With Chewed Off Nails
That's just dirty.

4) People Who Refer To One Person As "They"
These people also refer to themselves in the singular as "we." They've got voices in their heads, and that's apparent.

5) Male Gynecologists
Did you ever notice how they're never cute? There's your first clue.


There are many other groups I don't trust, but those are the main five (aside from the real obvious ones like Republicans, Christians, people from LA, etc.)